How to stop being grumpy…

This morning I woke up grumpy and whingy and that’s not a good start to the day. While doing my morning pages I managed to clear it and thought I would share with the process I went through.

I accepted responsibility for my grumpiness. That is the grumpiness was with me and not the fault of anyone else.

Since I was responsible for the grumpiness it was my choice, now that I was aware of it, whether I remained grumpy and whether I let it go. Just the absurdness of thinking about choosing to remain grumpy brought the first smile.

Then I asked myself was the outside influence that had triggered my grumpiness important? Would I remember it in a month, year or 5 years even? The answer was no.

Why had I become grumpy? Because life wasn’t the way I thought it should be – yes I was trying to fight reality (again!). By trying to fight reality I had actually lost perspective and then closed down all possibility for creating anything new.

If there was a genuine concern (and in one case there was) then could I do something about it? Yes I could and I resolved to take some action.

After that there was actually nothing left to be grumpy about – the stories that I had created had vanished and the reality that was left was simply that – reality. Sometimes when I lose perspective it’s because I get tied up in the story of what I think  is going on rather than the reality of what is.

All the time while I was doing this process I was listening to the theme music from Starman which I love (and I loved the film too).

It may of course be coincidence but after that clearing and feeling so much better I received a phone call about some potential website work

 

Typically this is when you find yourself:

• getting more upset than a situation warrants
• going from zero to pissed off in a few seconds flat
• hanging on to old hurts and feeling them like they just happened

Now before you deny that you have ever experienced this, let me tell you, we’re not buying that. And, before you go beating yourself up about how it has happened, let me just welcome you to the messy and emotional world of the human race.

The “truth” is that we are emotional and feeling creatures with varying copying skills and abilities for handling life’s disappointments. So wherever you are on the bell curve of communication savvy just know that AWARENESS is the first step to change.

So, let’s deal with the grumpiness first! A great way to stop it in its tracks is to ask: “What is this really about?”

I guarantee that if you are feeling “grumpy” that what you think you are upset about is not likely “it.” It may have been the “last straw” or it may have been the “trigger”…but it is unlikely to be “it.”

If you are willing to try that on, then it will allow you a bit of distance and a bit of objectivity in the middle of a grumpy mood that will then open up the door to curiosity.

When you are curious you can ask yourself these wonderful questions:

• What am I afraid of?
• What do I think this means?
• What do I think will happen?
• What do I think this says about me?
• What if…?
• Am I tired, hungry or hormonal? (good to ask yourself that last one, not appreciated if someone else asks – LOL!)

Some Character Codes hang on to anger and hurt feelings longer than others. Some will be quicker to anger and get over it faster. It is helpful to know which one YOU are and the people around you!

More next time on how thoughts create feelings…what fun!